how will you know if he really loves you? There are millions upon millions of single ladies out there, musing about the pairing possibilities in their general proximity. This is not unique to the human condition, but is ingrained within much of the Animalia Kingdom. Their eyes are peeled for the magnificent, and at times odd, courtship rituals that the opposite sex will use to entice them. These displays assure the female that the male is strong, beautiful, capable of supporting a family, and healthy. Sexual dimorphism is the reality and starting point for the continuation of humanity. And it creates a wondrous sexual tension, a magnetism, perhaps an animal magnetism, to draw these anatomically divergent creatures together.
Plato recognized this tension in his theory of forms. He contemplated that there was only one “formal” reality for humanity: and that the male and female sexes, were infact two different halves of that form. Meaning, that men and women were akin to puzzles, and only find completion when they come together in a marital arrangement. This was the only form, as far as I am aware of, that required two pieces to find completion, or wholeness. I say this not because I’m a Platonist or that I believe you need to be married to he whole, heaven forbid, but to illustrate the “formal” beauty and purity seen in this relationship. Paul was actually quite fond of the single lifestyle (1 Corinthians 7:8). But even the pre-Christian ancient Greeks recognized the importance of this union.
Yet it is difficult for women today, in a disfunctional world full of disfunctional men, to find Mr. Right. Our society is infected with a repugnant hedonism that relishes self-gratification over mutual love, and orgasms over reproduction. Under Christianity, marriage was a covenantal agreement between spouses and God Almighty. It was sacred. As such, Lucifer is always active in dismantling this institution and trying to perpetuate a polygamous environment where sex is simply an itch to be scratched. The sexual revolution did much to further this cause. And it currently permeates every aspect of our society, grooming us to fornicate.
The reality of this implosion of conscience is a self-gratifying lack of respect for one another. Our society, our culture, is a dirty cesspool, a literal pig pen. And when decent women seek their prince charming, they are forced to wallow in that pig pen, and through the `boarish’ pigs that abound. And these pigs truly annoy me.
Its funny. Going through junior high, and high school, I used to listen to the radio somewhat. And many of the songs I listened too were not worthy of my attention. I am unsure why I even liked many of those songs. I think my younger, more innocent predisposition, failed to see the meaning that was pushed upon my ears. Conditioning them. The songs may have sounded great, but their content was devoid of life. And within many of those songs, I see lyrics that represent the confused state that our sorry lot finds itself in today.
Men, on average, seem to wish to have a steady series of sexual encounters. Many have a predatory instinct and seemingly wish to hunt their prey. Once they catch her, they gratify themselves with her for a period. Then they grow bored and move on the next girl. So girls, do you know how to identify these men? It’s actually quite easy: They don’t want to marry you.
Men can be charming. They can tell you an assortment of things, things you wish to hear. And they can prey on trusting, naive women. Sure, there are many equally wanton females these piggish men can wallow with that share similar predispositions. These women are not the topic of this assessment. Promiscuous individuals are free to entertain themselves as long as they do not dupe the monogamously inclined with a false pretense. I am speaking of honourable women seeking significant and honourable men.
A very good friend of mine sent me a letter shortly after graduation. She told me she was seeing a guy that she liked very much. They had been dating for some time now, and he was pushing to engage her sexually. She was a good Christian girl. I don’t know him, but apparently he claimed some quasi-christian status, sigh. She asked for my advice. Its interesting how good people get confused when they’re too close to the situation. We had a trustful repertoire between us, so she sought my opinion … a opinion she would have already known the answer too. “If he respected you, he would not ask such a thing”.
Do not be flattered because a male wants to copulate with you. It does not mean you are pretty. It does not mean you are special. It does not mean he cares for you. It doesn’t even mean he likes you. It means you were the best he could get at that particular time. These are unhonorable men. Given that men are made in God’s image, these are shadows of what men are supposed to be. Hollow shells. Dark cold shadows. She praised my advice in her next letter. The proof was in the pudding .. When she refrained, he lost interest and left her. This was not someone who wished to share their life with her, this was a pretender. She met another man, that respected her, and is now happily married.
Do not be confused. Many of these men seem genuine. They become so enamoured in the conquest that they confuse it with love. Others simply pretend it is love and purposely deceive the girl. Either way, the outcome is the same, and the girl will be left singing Alanis Morissette's “You Oughta Know”. I know a girl who is a pastor’s kid. She dated some guy for many years, maintaining her Christian virtue in that relationship. He persisted. She resisted. That should have been enough for her to leave. His strategies changed, and he told her he wanted an adult relationship, not a child’s relationship – or through the Biblical lens, a sinful relationship, not a Godly relationship. All this guised under the smoke of future marital promises. I can hear the Meat Loaf music playing (Paradise by the Dashboard Light). And if marriage isn't an adult relationship, I don't know what is.
To her credit, she said no. He dumped her. She was a broken mess. Now think about that: he dumped her because she wouldn’t have sex with him and he sought sex elsewhere. She never mattered to him, the sex did. Many months later they got back together again, he took her back with open arms, and she took him back with open legs. She was so happy to be in love, and he was so happy to make love. Over a year later, once he had his fill, he left her again. It’s been many, many years later, and she still insists he loved her. Sadly amazing. You can not learn from your mistakes if you refuse to see the truth.
Contrary to the Betty Everett song, love is not in his kiss. There is only one way to absolutely know what a man’s intensions are with you (unless you are telepathic), and that is by his immutable commitment to you. Words are cheap ladies, we’re talking about a legal contract here, called marriage. Marriage signifies a man truly loves you.
Co-habitation is a temporary situation that gives you no security. The arrangement offers him things he needs or craves (sex, child care, a maid, company, entertainment, duel income, a sugar momma, whatever), but you have to ask yourself, why he resists unequivocal commitment. He might tell you his parents were divorced, so he’s scared of marriage. He might tell you that a piece of paper (a marriage certificate) doesn’t mean anything. He might tell you he wants to know if you're compatible (yes, sexually compatible, whatever that means) – I know a guy that does this and it works. He might tell you he’d die for you, and that that’s proof of his love (if he can’t sign his name on a piece of paper for you, do you really think he’d die for you … hollow lies). Whatever his line, he is holding the door open just incase a better offer comes along. Marriage closes that door so another woman can’t step through. If a marriage certificate doesn’t mean anything, then why is he so scared to get one?
Luckily, you don’t necessarily have to be a telepath to gleam some insight into his mindset. You can simply listen to the pathetically transparent love songs that pervade the radio.
"Sister Golden Hair" by America
"Well I tried to make it Sunday, but I got so damn depressed
That I set my sights on Monday and I got myself undressed
I ain't ready for the altar but I do agree there's times
When a woman sure can be a friend of mine
Well, I keep on thinkin' 'bout you, Sister Golden Hair surprise
And I just can't live without you; can't you see it in my eyes?
I been one poor correspondent, and I been too, too hard to find
But it doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind
Will you meet me in the middle, will you meet me in the air?
Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?
Well I tried to fake it, I don't mind sayin', I just can't make it … bla bla bla bla puke …"
Look at the stupidity expressed here. He refuses to marry this woman. But claims he can’t live without her. If this was true, he would marry her. It’s absurd. So what is it that he really wants from her … what is the "middle" in his mind? It’s sex. “Will you love me just a little”? Love and making love are not the same thing. And many trusting women will fall for this. A cute smile or a kind word will shutter their eyes. Men will tell you that they love you. Men will tell you that they’ll marry you. Men will tell you that they’ll die if they don’t have sex. Men will tell you anything …and a million songs will testify to this. Pray that you see things plainly, and that you don’t miss the obvious. A bad man will have many good characteristics, see the whole picture. This is your life we’re talking about. Don’t spend it on a pig. Find a Godly man. Find a man that respects you. Find a man willing to prove his love by marrying you. Find a man who wants to give you a golden ring, not a rubber one.
This is a cruder link (below), but it expresses this sentiment and looks into another song perpetuating this nonsense.. Do not view if you’re offended by vulgar language … though girls, it does give you a fantastic glimpse into a man pig’s mind. If you’re single, watch it to the end (and ignore the misogynistic tone). Commentator is Gavin McInnes.
Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know" holds key to relationships.